Four Weeks Into It

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Well, its been about four weeks into it and we are settling in to somewhat of a routine.  Keith picks up Colin on Monday morning at our house, and then sets off for the day, sometimes combining an excursion into the pickup – either to the park for a walk, or with Pat to the doctor.  Colin stays the week until Friday when Perry drops him back off at our house.  I don’t really know how Colin feels about the situation, but all along for months we have been telling him that Colin’s Castle is his own house and that he is a lucky guy to have his own place.  Some nights have been touch and go – to bed late and waking often through the night, and some nights have been great, to bed without problem and sleeping straight through until the morning.  I think and I hope that he is getting used to spending the week at Colin’s Castle, then coming home for the weekends.

We don’t really know what Colin’s preference would be in terms of where he would like to be.  Sometimes I get a guilty feeling thinking that we are abandoning him.  For instance, I had to go out to Colin’s Castle on Monday to install some light blocking curtains for Colin’s bedroom, so I got to be with him for a little while.  When it was time to leave, I kissed him goodbye and told him that I would call him later on in the evening.  As I drove away I remembered that I had to check something at the house so I turned around and went back.  Colin had come out and was sitting on the curb in front of the house near Perry’s car.  As I left again I told him that I loved him and again drove away.  Thinking that he didn’t care much, I looked in the rear view mirror only to see that Colin had come out from behind Perry’s car and was watching me drive away.  Needless to say, I choked up.  A lot more is going on in Colin’s head than we give him credit for.  While again suffering a pang of guilt over leaving him there, I quickly choked back the tears and came to the conclusion that I always come to – that this is best for Colin, especially if it works long term.  Much better than leaving him in a group home, and much better for having a plan for his future.  It is hard, for us and probably for him too, but we’ve got to make this work.

2 Responses so far.

  1. Paul Siciliano says:

    On one hand I can confidently say that what you guys have done (creating Colins Castle) is about the greatest thing I have seen 2 parents do for their child. The thought, the will to do, the creation of this whole picture…is beyond words in my opinion. On the other hand..I could not imagine the feeling you described above when driving away. I too agree that Colin has so much more going on in that mind then he is able to share with us at a level we understand. I am not a religious man as you know but, ..Colin knows how much you & Pat love him and THAT is without question or doubt. I (not have to or want to but) Believe…he knows you are paving the way for his success in this world.

    Never second guess just how AWESOME you and Pat are & have been in Colins world Kelly. You guys gave him a Castle!!

    I will always be pulling for Colins safety & happiness….ALWAYS!

    Paul

  2. Alexander Owens says:

    It really is quite a complex balancing of emotions and hope. It is one thing to hear others reassure you that what you are doing is best for Colin, it is quite another to have to actually go through it. You, Pat, Colin and the rest of your family have gone through quite a lot to get to this point; it must be quite a difficult achievement, that I’m sure is yet to reach its potential. I can’t imagine the struggle of organizing a plan for the future of Colin, without an ability of having him express his desires and feelings with regard to it. I’ve seen –in Ukraine– how badly people with disabilities can be treated and it is so inspiring and great to witness the love and consideration that you and Pat have put into planning a better life for Colin. I hope that, soon, I can see all of you again. I would like to thank you for keeping people updated on the process, there are a lot of us who love to follow it and see it come to life. With much respect and gratitude, Alexander.