Well, its been about four weeks into it and we are settling in to somewhat of a routine. Keith picks up Colin on Monday morning at our house, and then sets off for the day, sometimes combining an excursion into the pickup – either to the park for a walk, or with Pat to the doctor. Colin stays the week until Friday when Perry drops him back off at our house. I don’t really know how Colin feels about the situation, but all along for months we have been telling him that Colin’s Castle is his own house and that he is a lucky guy to have his own place. Some nights have been touch and go – to bed late and waking often through the night, and some nights have been great, to bed without problem and sleeping straight through until the morning. I think and I hope that he is getting used to spending the week at Colin’s Castle, then coming home for the weekends.
We don’t really know what Colin’s preference would be in terms of where he would like to be. Sometimes I get a guilty feeling thinking that we are abandoning him. For instance, I had to go out to Colin’s Castle on Monday to install some light blocking curtains for Colin’s bedroom, so I got to be with him for a little while. When it was time to leave, I kissed him goodbye and told him that I would call him later on in the evening. As I drove away I remembered that I had to check something at the house so I turned around and went back. Colin had come out and was sitting on the curb in front of the house near Perry’s car. As I left again I told him that I loved him and again drove away. Thinking that he didn’t care much, I looked in the rear view mirror only to see that Colin had come out from behind Perry’s car and was watching me drive away. Needless to say, I choked up. A lot more is going on in Colin’s head than we give him credit for. While again suffering a pang of guilt over leaving him there, I quickly choked back the tears and came to the conclusion that I always come to – that this is best for Colin, especially if it works long term. Much better than leaving him in a group home, and much better for having a plan for his future. It is hard, for us and probably for him too, but we’ve got to make this work.